Poem – Idiomatically Animalistic! – Tom Brown Online

Poem – Idiomatically Animalistic!

Tom Tom's Poetry April 20, 2018 | 0

CORPORATE GOBBLEDYGOOK! I am really glad I don’t work in the Corporate Jungle now, I think the changes would test my physical fitness, somehow. I’d have to be reaching out and doubling down whilst all the while I’d have to be lean and agile and prepared to go the extra mile! I’d have to be prepared to consider a paradigm shift - get my ducks in a row and pivot, whatever this is? I’d have to circle back, park that, hop on a call and deep dive and break out, drill down - that is if I am still alive! And if I am still up to speed (which would be some feat) I’d need to learn a new language – oh what a treat! I’d have to learn about new norms, brainstorms and levelling up, double down, double clicks, double digits and something called cohorts. I have to look out of the window of opportunity - there’s a thought shower expected today in the learning community! Or is it blue sky thinking or low hanging fruit? Now I am hearing I’m out of the loop Moving forward they want me to be a thought leader - to keep an eye on my radar and be a game changer. Put this at the top of my inbox, think outside of it too and now here’s something else I’d fly past you! Ping an e.mail, if you’re able, and consider the take aways (King Prawn Curry fried Rice, thank you if I may?) Oh, sorry you mean something else, but how was I to know and yes, I promise to touch base before I go! B2B, NLP, TLA mean three letter acronyms and there’s dozens more to make me feel dim, and you must stay woke but not in your comfort zone - certainly not when you’re working from home. Ah now here’s another e.mail, reaching out, that is hoping I’m well they don’t know me from Adam but hey isn’t that swell. They’re asking me to move the needle on the deliverables wanting to know what’s immediately actionable. Idiot you say well….oh sorry, you’re saying ideate I had no idea that this meant create! Non fungibles, intangibles, what’s my bandwith? I haven’t a clue, didn’t know it to start with. Oh, this is rather pleasant, they said I’m going off piste now someone else wants me to put it on ice! Oh drat! Now they’re asking me to take it offline and don't overcook Pure dead crap this Corporate Gobbledygook! Copyright TMB 2022

So, you found a little red squirrel

and now you’re hysterical

because its sitting in the front seat of your car

But don’t get a bee in your bonnet

(hope you’re following this sonnet)

after all you haven’t driven that far.

To be perfectly frank,

if it was a tiger in your tank

you’d be cheesing like a chimpanzee

But if it had been ants in your pants,

that would have caused you to rant

you’d be itching to get out of here!

A little bird told me,

she said if only,

you didn’t always act like that

so, just hold your horses

till we get this sorted

and get that monkey off your back.

There’s always a fly in the ointment

and usually excitement

you’re like a bull in a china shop

you give me butterflies in my gut

so just screw the nut

then I won’t have to watch like a hawk

The world is your oyster

(or should that be lobster)

best let sleeping dogs lie

You can’t each an old dog new tricks,

there is no quick fix

but surely, we can but try

It’s a chicken and egg situation,

that’s what we’re facing

I don’t want to disturb a hornet’s nest

I’m no wolf in sheep’s clothing,

but it’s me you have chosen

because you said that I knew best

Curiosity killed the cat

I thought you knew that

(Hell, it’s like leading a horse to water

but I’m starting to think

I can’t make him drink

and I’m wondering if I otter!)

This all started with a squirrel

and I’ve tried to be civil

but it seems like a wild goose chase

and trying to make sense

of all this nonsense

well, I can’t even get to first base!

So, we need you to calm down

don’t get so easily aroused

you’re as easy as shooting fish in a barrel

I know your bark’s worse that your bite

and you’re really alright

and you want to avoid all this hassle

that being so,

get your ducks in a row

let’s keep the lid on this can of worms.

No more wild goose chases

to undesirable places

you ‘ll just get your fingers burned

Excuse me, this gets on my goat…. I’ve a frog in my throat

It just seems right out of place

Now, what was I saying

Oh, yes, it’s not a game that we’re playing,

we can’t be moving at this snail’s pace

Because, really a rhinoceros

or even a hippopotamus

shouldn’t be driving a flashy car

I mean I’m not surprised there’s a fuss

they’ve given you a license and that’s nuts

no wonder you haven’t got far!

Copyright TMB 2018

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